First 10 minutes: stay, but stop trying
- Turn the clock away. Do not check the time again. Time-checking converts restlessness into arithmetic, and the arithmetic is always alarming.
- Extend the exhale. Four or five gentle cycles of 4-7-8 breathing, without holding to the point of strain.
- Give the mind a neutral job. Either cognitive shuffling or a short body scan.
- Check the jaw and shoulders. If they are held, that is arousal, and it will not resolve by thinking about it. Try two minutes of very small movement — turning the palms, letting the eyes lead the head.
At roughly 20 minutes: get up
This is the rule most people skip and it is the one that matters most. Lying awake in bed strengthens the association between bed and wakefulness, and the longer you stay the more you train tomorrow's version of this night. See stimulus control.
- Leave the bedroom. Dim light only — a lamp, not the ceiling light.
- Do something dull with no plot: fold laundry, read something mildly boring on paper, sort socks.
- No screens. No email. No problem-solving. No food.
- Return only when you feel genuinely sleepy, then repeat as needed.
Out of bed: what actually works
- A chair, a dim lamp, and a physical book — paper, not a backlit device.
- Something repetitive with the hands.
- Ten minutes of slow floor movement, which is compatible with the rule because you are out of the bed.
- A warm, non-caffeinated drink if that is part of your routine.
Avoid: the phone, television, anything with a narrative, tidying with ambition, and work of any kind. Also avoid checking how long you have been awake.
The next day: do not compensate
What you do the following day determines whether this becomes a pattern.
- Wake at your normal time. Not later. This is the single most important item.
- No naps. A nap removes the pressure that will make tonight easier.
- Get morning daylight within an hour of waking.
- Keep the bedtime normal or slightly later, never earlier.
- Exercise if you can, earlier in the day. See does exercise help sleep.
- Do not catastrophise the day. One bad night impairs performance mildly. Believing it will ruin everything impairs it more.
If this is happening most nights
A plan gets you through a night. It does not treat chronic insomnia. If this is three or more nights a week for three months, the pattern has become learned and needs CBT-I — specifically sleep restriction alongside stimulus control. See chronic insomnia.
Things that do not help
- Counting sheep — attention stays empty and narrative returns.
- Drinking alcohol — see sleeping after drinking.
- Staying in bed because you are tired. Tiredness is not the same as sleepiness.
- Adding an extra sleeping pill mid-night without medical advice — next-morning impairment is a real risk.